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Joke of the Day

"He's a recovering alcoholic: recovering from last night!"

"What do vampire footballers have at half-time? Blood oranges."

"What do you call a short mexican? A paragraph, hes not a full essay yet."

"Pokemon GO is trying to fix its servers... It's not very effective."

"At funerals instead of crying, I tie the dead person's shoe laces together. It's not stupid. What if he comes back as a zombie?"

"What did Kurtis Blow tell his son when teaching him how to drive? THESE are the brakes!"

"You know peanuts can kill a person! Well, they are nuts, after all!"

"These attacks in Paris were really terrible 13/11 never baguette"

"Why did the CS major quit his job? He didn't get arrays."

"I had a few too many beers at an art exhibition and threw up all over the floor. Someone offered me three grand for it."