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Joke of the Day

"Two admins meet at work ""A friend of mine was able to shut down the main server just in 5 minutes!"" ""Wow. He is a hacker?"" ""No. Just an idiot."""

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I said, ""That's a pretty big word for a six year old."""

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Beat it until she starts again."

"What is the one thing you shouldn't do at a funeral? The corpse."

"Just stabbed my uterus with a tampon."

"There's a new drinking game... You draw a random card from a deck & if it's black you take a shot.... We call it ""Ferguson"""

"One jihadist said to another, ""How many infidels do we kill?"" He answered, ""Allah them"""

"My girlfriend is like the Samsung Note7 She blows up at any given moment."

"Most people have 32 teeth, some have 10. It's simple meth."

"My girlfriend says she needs time and distance Is she calculating velocity?"