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Joke of the Day

"What is the one thing you shouldn't do at a funeral? The corpse."

"Man, I have really bad diarrhea I need to get my shit together."

"There are three kinds of women: the intelligent, the beautiful, and the majority."

"What music service do potatoes like to use? Spudify."

"Marriage Proposal In ancient Greece, throwing an apple at a woman was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. This tradition still continues - throw an apple (iPhone5) and she will say YES!"

"What comes in hard, comes out soft, and what do you blow hard? chewing gum, you sicko..."

"I'm lactose intolerant, too. Do the pills work for you? It's a crap shoot."

"What do you call a cracked window? A pane in the glass."

"Turns out I am a master of Tantric Maths. I can stare at the page for hours and the answer never comes."

"(NSFW) What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full."