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Joke of the Day

"[Poison Ivy's home] Voice from outside: YOU CONTROL PLANTS? WHAT KIND OF POWER IS THAT? Ivy: [thru window] Go home, Aquaman. You're drunk."

"My new years resolution is to have more sex! I Haven't told my cellmate yet though"

"I'm at my parenting best when I randomly yell out ""be careful!"" every few minutes without looking up from my phone."

"Have you ever eaten a salad, then had a chickpea on your face?"

"Confucius say... He who farts at church, sits in his own pew."

"Because of my thyroid condition, my parents made me join a support group as a kid. This one time, at gland camp..."

"LHC (Large Hadron Collider) When LHC discovered Higgs Boson, it literally became deus ex machina."

"Why is it better to be a redditor rather than a suicide bomber? You are guaranteed to meet more virgins.."

"A man walked into a bar He is an alcoholic and he is ruining his family. (Any anti joke lovers out there?)"

"When I was a kid adults would use swear words then apologise by saying 'Excuse my French'. I still remember my first day at school when the teacher asked ""Does anyone know any French?"""