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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid the swear jar at my house was always empty because my sister was a goddamn fucking thief."

"My friend told me a joke about alarms I thought it was a snooze."

"Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ? A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too."

"ME: *fumbling with bra* sorry im usually good at this HER: its...fine ME: *successfully gets bra off* there we go, now you take off yours"

"A Dumb blonde is pulled over by a cop... He says: You were going 95km/h. The dumb blonde responds: but I haven't been driving for an hour."

"I was very disappointed to have to pay for my new roof. The builder had promised me it would be on the house."

"So I was at Legoland the other day and I saw a couple making out I thought it was inappropiate so walked up to them and said ""Come on guys, this is Legoland. Build a room."""

"Life is like a box of chocolates... Most of it sucks."

"White Anglo-Saxon Protestant's (WASP's) Why did God create W.A.S.P's? Someone has to pay full retail..."

"How does our solar system organize a party? They Planet"