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Joke of the Day

"There are many people who are very self-aware... You know who you are."

"I tried to figure out why the tennis ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."

"A sadist and a masochist meet The masochist starts pleading, ""Hit me! Please hit me!"" The sadist looks at him, smiles, and calmly replies, ""No."""

"Why did the vegetable band break up? They couldn't keep a beet."

"What do you mean pi r square? Pies are round"

"I admit I've had sex with over 30 women in my life But it only happened one time."

"If helium lifts things could you say It's a source of light?"

"[NSFW] I wanted to make a gay joke... butt fuck it."

"I'm guessing I'm not married because I'd take a bullet for a grilled cheese before I'd take one for a girl."

"What do Santa's little helpers learn in school? The Elfabet!"