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Joke of the Day

"Why did the vegetable band break up? They couldn't keep a beet."

"Why do they call it PMS? Because mad cow disease was taken"

"I didn't come here tonight to win a popularity contest. Is there one though? Because that will probably affect my behaviour."

"What is the Dothraki horde's favourite cheese? Khaloumi."

"What did the depressed, illiterate pepperoni slice say when asked where he was with his life? Well it pizza heck out of me."

"How do you find a blind man at a nudist beach? It's not hard"

"Sorry champ, but getting ""promoted"" from fries to drive-thru is not a promotion."

"A little boy skips school... Grandpa: ""Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!!"" Little Boy: ""No you go hide because I told her you were dead!"""

"My friend thinks her husband is cheating on her. I don't have the heart to tell her he's just out chasing Pokemon."

"So I was fucking my daughter last night... when my wife walked in. I don't know what she was more surprised by: the fact that I was fucking our daughter or that the abortion clinic let me keep it."