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Joke of the Day

"Me - ""Hey kiddo, you have your shoes on the wrong feet"" My 6 year old - ""I ain't got no other feet"""

"If I show you a picture on my phone and you start scrolling, I'm gonna stab you."

"If you throw away an ice sculpture, is it justice?"

"Did you know what 6.9 is? its a good thing screwed up by a period"

"I got friend zoned today.... So I asked if she knew what incest was..."

"I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed."

"What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards? In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade."

"What does David Bowie get at the supermarket? Can-cer"

"Put the punchline in the title Do you know what the best way to ruin a joke is?"

"A frenchman walks into a library And asks the Librarian if he can checkout a book about War. The Librarian responds, ""No, you'll lose it."""