179723

Joke of the Day

"A frenchman walks into a library And asks the Librarian if he can checkout a book about War. The Librarian responds, ""No, you'll lose it."""

"My 3 year-old wanted to help me cook breakfast... ...but she wasn't eggsperienced enough."

"There were two flies sitting on a toilet seat... one got pissed off."

"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ""Got any shoes you're not using?"

"Should I include ""hard working and honest"" in my resume? Applying for a software engineer's role at Volkswagen."

"We crush olives for olive oil, we crush walnuts for walnut oil and we crush sunflower seeds for sunflower oil So how do we make baby oil?"

"For $60, this printer ink had better be hand squeezed out of endangered squids."

"Why did the cz-75 get the girl pregnant? It took too long to pull out."

"Are you frome Tennessee? Because you're a bitch."

"My wife told me not to say anything about her friend's lazy eye so I made sure to give numerous compliments on her super-athletic one."