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Joke of the Day

"I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed."

"Here's my review of EA Sorry EA but if you want the review it'll be $5.99 for each letter and $7.99 for each punctuation and comma"

"I told a friend of mine that me and other friends were talking about him behind his back. He told me, ""You disgust me."" And I said, ""Yes. Yes we did."""

"I bought my epileptic boyfriend a strobe light for his birthday. He's gonna have a fit when he sees it."

"So I was having sex with this girl.. When suddenly she asks me: ""Doesn't it bother you that I'm 13??"" So I replied: ""Not really, I've never been superstitious"""

"Wow my pants are really loose today *skips to the nearest vending machine*"

"Teenage Mutant African Mammals Lionardo Giraffael Rhinotello Michelantelope"

"I'm a 40 yr old man sitting at a Cafe with my eyes closed, squirting packets of mayo from under the table at the window as people walk by."

"I know so much about cars All I need to see is their headlights and I can tell exactly which way they're going."

"Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom? A. Three if you slice them very thinly."