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Joke of the Day

"what is the most terrifying sound to a redditor?? pao pao pao..."

"I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I'm living in their attic."

"Try this one crazy trick to get people to click on things! See. It worked."

"If you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut."

"If Abraham Lincoln were alive today he'd probably run a really good blog about top hats and play bass in a Grateful Dead cover band."

"I made a deposit at the sperm bank last night. She really hates it when I call her that though."

"An Irish man walks on the street and ignores a bar... Muahahaha, like that's possible!"

"Sure glad I filled my iPod with shit that I hate."

"(Guy who was trapped in a well for 20 years standing in front of the Get Well Soon cards at the pharmacy, frowning)"

"TRUMP: if elected i'll build a protective wall. I'll call it the great wall *advisor whispers in his ear* i'll call it the really great wall"