78300

Joke of the Day

"Me: I'd like to report a disturbance. Police Dispatcher: Okay, where sir? Me: In the force, I can feel it."

"As founder and CEO of YOLO Guaranteed, my first product launch will be fishnet parachutes."

"Why did the Libertarian cross the road? ""None of your damn business. Am I being detained?"""

"What is the most successful spinoff ever made? The Bible"

"Where do salt lovers go to pray? [OC] The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in the leaves? Russell."

"How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently more than 5, as my basement is still dark"

"*birds dress Cinderella for school* *gets to school, goes into bathroom* *buncha rabid squirrels gather and re-dress her in goth shit*"

"How much space does the EU have left? 1GB"

"All liquor stores are open 24 hours. When you have a brick."