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Joke of the Day

"Do you, Charles Manson, take this woman who is clearly more insane than you to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. That very same day, Chuck Norris received an award for masturbating in public."

"Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Because North Korea's nukes couldn't reach him there"

"What did the cop say to his belly button? You're under a vest lol"

"I'm in Southern Texas ... ... and it's so hot here, the trees are fighting over the dogs."

"[Produce Aisle] Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave. *mouthful of like 20 grapes * ""That lady took one too!!"""

"How do I know you're not John Cena? I can see you"

"What's a feminist favorite ship? A CENSORSHIP"

"Why did everyone invite mushroom to the party? Because he's a fungi."

"Whats the difference between the FAA and a jet engine? The engine stops whining after the plane lands."