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Joke of the Day

"Do you, Charles Manson, take this woman who is clearly more insane than you to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"So, I friended Paul Walker on XBox. Sadly though, he's always on the dashboard."

"Told my coworker to shut up or I would slash his tires. He laughed, I laughed. Now I'm by his car with a knife and I can hear sirens. :("

"Out of 10 puns chosen at random, how many actually made people laugh? No pun in ten did."

"Every woman wants to be swept off her feet. It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to panic."

"women love to see the veins in a man's arm. it shows he runs on blood, and not something more sinister"

"Why are there gay aliens on mars? Because curiosity got the best of them."

"What are two things you can't give a black person? (Semi racist) A black eye and a fat lip."

"I went to a place to buy some weed, turns out they didn't have any but they sold some shoes... I don't know what those things were laced with but I was tripping all over the place."

"Meanwhile, at the bar: Batman: ""Whisky."" Aquaman: ""Appletini."" ""WHAT?"" ""It's vodka, apple schnapps..."" ""You're off the Justice League."""