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Joke of the Day

"Meanwhile, at the bar: Batman: ""Whisky."" Aquaman: ""Appletini."" ""WHAT?"" ""It's vodka, apple schnapps..."" ""You're off the Justice League."""

"I was late to work because I was having car trouble. And by car trouble I mean I was sleeping and not driving the car."

"Whats the difference between a wank and an egg? You can beat an egg."

"What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs Hawking."

"I'm on this new diet where I can eat anything but sugar, bread, meat, fruit, and food"

"Why is the fridge shaking so much? It's running just fine. Probrably because it's so turned on!"

"TIFU by insulting a one-armed foreigner visiting my town. I called him a tourist."

"No one's laugh sounds like ""bwahahaha."" NO one."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? Pizzas smell good in the oven"

"Housekeeper >I am a wonderful housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house."