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Joke of the Day

"Before you start your artisanal candle business ask yourself: does the world need one more lychee-scented soy candle? Or even one?"

"How to get laid: WALK RIGHT UP TO HER & just get to know her over time until u build mutual affection & the trust to enjoy each other naked"

"I made a shitty voodoo doll, once... ...and all the limbs fell off. Worked out for me, though."

"Why did Simba's father die? Because he couldn't Mufasa!"

"What's the difference between plants and black men? Cells are found inside plants."

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 7 They go after the guy who has killed 1000s of turtles The Ninja Turtles corner him Mario jumps on them all"

"Why couldn't the clock be kept in jail? Because time was always running out."

"Two unconnected vertices? That's where I draw the line."

"I once dated this German golfer chick. She was a pretty cool girl but she wouldn't ever do anal. She lovingly referred to her butthole as her back nein."

"What's better than roses on your piano? - tulips on your organ."