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Joke of the Day

"DISH FATHER: You can NEVER see that spoon again! *daughter dish starts sobbing* [outside the window, Spoon is thinking] we leave tonight"

"What kind of fruit always has a wedding_ A cantaloupe....."

"Women have closets full of 'I have nothing to wear.'"

"An Italian and a Greek get in a fight over sex Greek: the Greeks invented sex centuries before the Italians! Italians: maybe so but we improved on it by introducing it to women!"

"My sex life ."

"I blame movies for giving me unrealistic expectations about how long I can look away from the road while driving."

"My girlfriend said she liked the jewelry my grandmother wore so I bought her a life alert necklace"

"I'm thinking of changing career and becoming a professional circumciser. . . The pay is lousy, but I hear you get plenty of tips."

"Telling a racist joke is like getting in a car with an asian driver If they are not really good, there's a very good chance you'll crash and burn."

"Coming on valentines day. Fifty shades of grey. There won't be a dry seat in the cinema."