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Joke of the Day

"Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan have a fight to the death. Who will win? Everybody."

"I recommend everyone to go swimming with piranhas. It's a once in a lifetime experience."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."

"[having sex] Me: CHECK IT OUT NO HANDS! Her: USE YOUR HANDS! Me: *raises the roof*"

"I got a good one for you guys 1"

"A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy."

"Making Zombies Moist delete"

"Why don't undertakers provide free services? That would be a dead giveaway."

"I'm gonna be celebrating MLK the only way I know how... By napping, because you can't have a dream if you aint sleeping."

"Just beat Eminem 4000 straight times at musical chairs by playing ""The Real Slim Shady"" over and over."