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Joke of the Day

"The fact that belly buttons aren't blowholes is fucking stupid."

"""I'm not racist, but,"" -Racists"

"You know what I like about high school girls? I will be back, rec time is over."

"What did one frog say to the other? Time's fun when you're having flies."

"Don't tell them but... I write horrible things about illiterate people."

"Have I told you how much I don't like the cars that can go up vertical surfaces? They drive me up the fucking wall."

"I'm basically only good at three things: 1. Programming 2. Counting"

"I still haven't been able to deal with the fact that Jessica Simpson has had two children and didn't name either one ""Homer"""

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to dress up as famous composers for Halloween? I'll be Bach"

"Did you hear that the sine function left home? He still comes home periodically."