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Joke of the Day

"Why don't undertakers provide free services? That would be a dead giveaway."

"Why did the spy stay in bed? To stay under cover"

"You know, there's one thing I have yet to witness in life. A crippled stand-up comedian."

"My cat jumped off me unexpectedly, so I get it, Europe. I get it."

"There are 2 types of people in this world: Those who pee in the shower... And stinkin' LIARS!"

"The first time I got up close and personal with a girl was round the back by the school bins. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't looked into that rubbish bag."

"My girlfriend told me I was a pedophile... I told her ""Wow, that's a big word for a sixth grader!"" *stolen from a teacher"

"I really can't walk the walk or talk the talk but if you need someone to drink the drink, I'm your man."

"Why can't Mexicans win the Olympics? Because every one that can run, jump or swim has already crossed the border."

"My cat died. But I know he'll forever live on in passwords."