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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."

"I once had sex with a mermaid I am pretty sure at least. It was dark and she smelled fishy down there."

"I live in upstate New York You know, normally I'd say ""Fuck the Weather"", but these days, I'm pretty sure it's way under 18."

"Justin Bieber isn't gay he just likes to get his cheekbones blown out."

"What's the difference between Americans and Brits? Brits think 200 miles is a long distance, Americans think 200 years is a long time."

"If you jump off a bridge in Paris... They'll declare you in Seine"

"When the crooked hamburger took it on the 'lamb' where did it go? Oh 'ewe' know!"

"What do you call a dog magician?"

"If you had a choice between world piece and a million dollars, what color Ferrari would you buy?"

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Flatbread"