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Joke of the Day

"Isn't there part of everyone that hopes the Mayan calander is right? #letswrapitup #endofworld #creditcardbill"

"I was gonna tell a joke about boxing... ...then I forgot the punchline. I'll show myself out."

"That's not what he meant!"

"When dared to pull someone's finger, make sure you're not in a restroom & that it's indeed a finger you've been asked to pull."

"If you stare at an ice-cube for long enough you can pretend you have laser-eyes."

"I'm glad we finally have a strong leader I mean Putin has how many years of experience? The states are in good Russian hands."

"So I started chatting up this Asian girl after a little while she said, sex, sex, sex, free, sex for you. Her friend quickly pointed out that she was giving me her phone number 666-3642"

"What colour socks does a bear wear? They don't they have ""bare"" feet."

"If you play the movie Jaws backwards it's basically a story about a shark with bulimia."

"After the ""incident"" at the family cabin, my Indian name is Bounces Off Deck."