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Joke of the Day

"A blind man walks into a bar... And then a table... And then a chair..."

"My friend asked me if I wanted to walk down a hill with him. I declined."

"7 y/o daughter: Hey dad, can I see your phone for a minute? Me: You got a warrant?"

"What is an Arkansas virgin? A girl who can run faster than her brothers."

"If you had a 14 inch penis growing out of your forehead how much of it could you see? None because you would have two balls in your eyes."

"*kisses new boss on lips as I say goodbye at the end of my first day*"

"One minute, you're getting drunk as a skunk, then the next minute, you're in the back of an ambulance. I really shouldn't be working for the NHS."

"~The Discovery of Fruit~ Ok, so far you've named the red one apple and the yellow one banana. What about the orange one? Really? *sighs*"

"*Salesman smashes through window into living room* Evening, folks. Are you in the market for a new window?"

"What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use? Uniball."