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Joke of the Day

"A blind man walks into a bar... And then a table... And then a chair..."

"What's big, green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you? A pool table."

"People say you never see ninjas but I see their girlfriends hanging around mosques all the damn time."

"I'm devastated. My pet rat Elvis just died. He was caught in a trap"

"What happens when you give a politician Viagra? He gets taller."

"Why is it so confusing to play chess with the British? It's only check, mate"

"I ate 15 raw oysters last night at the restaurant. I paid for it with exploding diarrhea. I think they would have preferred cash."

"Have you heard about the guy who didn't want to walk the plank? He wasn't on board with it."

"What do Catholics and Baptists have in common? Neither acknowledge their fellow church-goers at the liquor store."

"There's a party in my pants and everyone's invited but nobody ever shows up. I wish my pants would stop throwing parties. It's humiliating."