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Joke of the Day

"What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use? Uniball."

"A hot girl in the hallway just smiled at me, but don't worry; I yelled ""I'm taken,"" and ran into the men's bathroom where she can't follow."

"What do you say to a feminist with no arms or legs? Nice tits, bitch."

"What happened to the cow when she tried to jump over the barbed wire fence? Udder destruction."

"An Old German Visits the Doctor. His doctor comes into the room with a frown on his face, and tells him he has Lung Cancer. ""Well,"" the German says, ""I did Nazi that coming."""

"What does George RR Martin call his erectile dysfunction? Writer's cock"

"Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment? They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas"

"What did the West African boy eat for breakfast? Ebola oatmeal..."

"I invented a motorized walking stick.. I call it the hurrycane."

"I'm on at least 5 different social networks right now managing my empire of utter and complete bullshit."