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Joke of the Day

"I think I invented some new Kama sutra moves trying to reach the remote without getting up."

"ME: I had salmon for lunch. WIFE: the L is silent. ME: Ha, I knew that. I meant unch."

"What do you call 1000 black people buried up to their necks? Afroturf Also, I'm not racist. I have two color tvs at home."

"What do you get when you drop a piano on a toddler? A flat minor"

"What does a rusty cow say? MgOOOO!!!"

"I think I'm allergic to cats. They give me stomach aches."

"How much does a dragon weigh? Wonton"

"Sometimes I get scared robots are going to take over. Then I use a motion-controlled sink."

"My friend asked me, ""What is a palindrome?"" I said, ""No, it's not."""

"What did the decorators say when they went to church? ""Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"""