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Joke of the Day

"I was trying to get the bubbles out of my screen protector and I accidentally bought a horse on eBay."

"5 DAYS AGO I was bit by a spider, and STILL, no super-powers. Comics lie."

"Rob a bank with a Nokia How would you rob a bank with a nokia? Walk in hold up a nokia, Robber: Get the fuck down i gotta nokia Lady: Holy shit hes got a nokia AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Something like that"

"How can you tell if you're being persecuted by agnostics? You come home to find a question mark burned into your lawn."

"[NSFW] What does a condom and a wife have in common? They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."

"Chilly Did you know that you can freeze a human to -273.15 C and he'd be 0K"

"Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time somebody goes in a bathroom and locks the door, you take four shots."

"When someone tells me that they have no life I usually respond with this... Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Select Start"

"Her: My baby is 28 months old. Me: Oh really? I'm 74 inches tall. Not so fun when YOU have to do the math, is it?"

"How did hitler like his women? just like his swastikas. No curves"