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Joke of the Day

"What do dissecting a frog and explaining a joke on Reddit have in common? Both are shitty novelties."

"My company just gave the janitor the Employee of the Month Award in a big ceremony that he spent hours cleaning up afterwards."

"Say what you want about Edward Scissorhands... but I think he's a pretty sharp guy."

"That awkward moment when I give a guy a fake phone number and he tries to call it in front of me.. #OhShiiiit"

"I feel like I forgot something today... ...shit, *the oven!*"

"What's worse than waking up after a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced"

"What is soft and fuzzy, and lives in a hole? My belly button lint."

"No sane person argues with their GPS as much as I do."

"In high school, everyone used to call me the class clown it was probably because of the face paint."

"Why do lesbians shop at sports authority? Because the don't like dicks."