40744

Joke of the Day

"I'm nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down."

"What's the difference between dead hookers and copper plumbing? I don't have copper plumbing 8n my crawlspace."

"why are sex ed and drivers ed never on the same day in Iraq ? the camel would get overworked"

"When she says she is ""new to NetFlix and Chill"". ~ and her bed has surround sound..."

"What has four legs, two humps, and is given a copy of Metal Gear Solid for their computer? Revolver Camelot!"

"I slappa da bass man... ... then he and the drummer beat the shit out of me :("

"When I jerk off I like to sit on my other hand until it gets numb, then change to that hand right at the last minute . . . I call it ""the old 'bate and switch""!"

"Why is six afraid of seven? seven eight nine. (seven ate nine)"

"On a rainy day two men are standing under the poplar trees in the park One of them is weeping: - John. Do you know how difficult it is to lose a wife? - I know Jack, I know. Practically impossible."

"When I was in 6th grade, I asked a girl out with a note and she wrote back ""Maybe :)"" so idk man I might have plans tonight."