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Joke of the Day

"When I was in 6th grade, I asked a girl out with a note and she wrote back ""Maybe :)"" so idk man I might have plans tonight."

"""Did you check your pockets?"" - kangaroo who's lost a child"

"Whenever my dachshund acts up I show him a pack of hotdogs in my fridge and he falls right back into line"

"What do you get when you are the daughter of Rodney Dangerfield and Aretha Franklin? No R-E-S-P-E-C-T."

"What is the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on."

"I'm getting tired of having to write ""Sent from my iPhone"" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone."

"So in this upcoming boxing match, Soulja Boy is being trained by Floyd Mayweather Where as Chris Brown is just getting another girlfriend to train on"

"There's been four dudes wandering around our local cemetery all morning. I think they've lost the plot."

"They say no two people can see a color the exact same way so does that mean color is like A Pigment of your imagination"

"""Sorry we're late. We had to stop so I could pee."" ""For two hours?!"" ""Yeah. It came out really slow."""