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Joke of the Day
"Why is six afraid of seven? seven eight nine. (seven ate nine)"
Next Joke
"Insurance agent to would-be client: ""Don't let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonite. If you wake in the morning give me a call then and let me know."
"FUN FACT: If every human on Earth was laid out end to end... ...there would be no one left to measure how far it went.   ^^credit ^^to ^^@meganamram ^^on ^^Twitter"
"Samuel L Jackson's kids were so lucky to have him yelling at them their whole childhood."
"[Sees cute barista] I'll have a quickie. Barista: Sir, it's called an espresso."
"Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast. Henry: If you're so smart what did I have? Counselor: Eggs. Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!"
"If you are ever cold. If you are ever cold, go to a corner. It's usually 90 degrees."
"A Sheep, a Drum, and a Snake fall off a cliff Baa-Dumm-Tsss"
"What do you throw a drowning aboriginal? His wife and kids"
"The difference between theory and practice is that in theory George Clooney should have been the best Batman."