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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing indians."

"I'm so sick I feel like a white boy at his first Kanye concert (masterpiece)"

"If the employees in your human resources department were all very into Aleutian sea birds. . . Around Christmas time, everyone would be sending HR Puffin Stuff."

"What do you call a blind buck? No idear. What do you call a blind buck with no legs? Still no idear."

"It's always cool to swallow your pride unless you're a lion. Lol"

"The one Pacifist friend. Pacifist friend: ""Do you want to hear my war-cry?"" *cries his eyes out while watching two dogs fighting*"

"Why did the computer overheat? Because windows wasn't open."

"Like prison, most don't learn the life of crime till locked up. Like twitter, I learned to creep into houses and quietly eat their cheese."

"What if I never *dramatic pause* sleep *dramatic pause* a- *falls asleep during third dramatic pause*"

"A programmer began to cuss Because getting to sleep was a fuss. When laying in her bed Looping round in her head Was: while (!asleep()): sheep++;"