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Joke of the Day

"If I'm extra friendly and super sweet when I see you again, it's cause I've forgotten your name"

"Where does Sean Connery sit? In the toilet."

"I mentioned my back pain to my dad in passing today. His reply? ""At least it's all behind you."""

"My local bondage club was robbed last night... we were all left bound and gagged. We absolutely loved it."

"A feminist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... and I only know this because they won't shut the fuck up about it."

"All I have is blood on my hands now. Papercut"

"Don't you hate it when dontyouhateitwhenpeopledontusespaces"

"When I was a younger man girls used to ""check me out"". Now women just ""keep an eye on me"""

"What's the difference between my porn stash and Call of Duty? One is full of screaming 10 year old boys and the other is Call of Duty."

"What sort of animals make the best TV presenters ? Gnus - readers !"