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Joke of the Day

"Running and Cars He who runs in front of car gets tired. He who runs behind car gets exhausted."

"Why did Hitler break up with his girlfriend? She was a nein out of ten"

"Girls are a lot like sleeping bags. I really like being inside them, and they cost about $200."

"Damn girl, are you an appendix because I have no idea what you do but this weird feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

"Noah's ark. A side story. An elephant asks a dinosaur: -Did Noah send you a friend request on facebook? -No ............. -That's bad..."

"If you're not sure how to spell a word, there are thousands of English professors on Twitter who will correct you."

"How many first-time theater directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, what do you guys think?"

"When I get to somebody's house, I text them, because knocking on doors is for poor people."

"I just lost 150 pounds of useless, life draining fat I got a divorce."

"Why can't you take a pig out on a date? Because she will squeal on you."