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Joke of the Day

"Noah's ark. A side story. An elephant asks a dinosaur: -Did Noah send you a friend request on facebook? -No ............. -That's bad..."

"|(O)| MAARCOOO! ...... (.){"

"You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, ""concentrate""."

"The #NSA walks into a bar. Bartender: ""Got a new joke for you."" NSA: ""Heard it."""

"Lottery- Gilbert Gottfried A man comes home to his wife and says ""Honey pack your bags I just won the lottery!"" She says ""What should I pack?"" He says ""I don't care just pack and get the fuck out!"""

"This person told me ""When pigs fly I'll get my kid vaccinated!"" Alas, swine flu."

"Looking at your innocent 5 year old now, I bet you can't imagine him drinking and taking drugs. Just you wait. First grade can be brutal."

"Trump wants to ban Muslims but if we learned anything from Prohibition it's that people will just make Muslims in their bathtubs."

"We decided to name our unborn child something that represents where it was conceived. Only 7 more months until baby Uber is born!"

"what do you call a crappy sock puppet? sock pooppet"