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Joke of the Day

"Judge: Do you mix horse meat with chicken? Defendant: Yes, my lord..... Judge; How much. Def: 50:50 Jud: Please elaborate. Def: **One horse to one chicken.**"

"Two guys and a girl walk into a bar The next guy ducks ^^^^^ba-dum-tss"

"Why does Santa not have kids? Cause he only comes once a year."

"How to convert QT3.14 into GF format? Sorry, this option is not available in Beta version."

"Sadly.. ..some frogs have been known to Kermit suicide"

"Watching cartoons with my son is awesome except for all the commercials & now his Christmas list has 26,724 things on it. Shit."

"Amputees can be pretty stubborn. You've really got to hand it to them."

"A classic Tommy Cooper gag * I said to the gym teacher: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' * He said: 'How flexible are you?' * I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'"""

"Your plastic surgery looks amazing. Your rotting, lifeless corpse is going to look so young. The other corpses will be so jealous."

"My wife has been really cold to me lately. Ever since she passed away."