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Joke of the Day

"How to convert QT3.14 into GF format? Sorry, this option is not available in Beta version."

"How did the unqualified harp player get into the orchestra? She pulled some strings."

"If you're in an indoor shooting range and it starts burning down, what do you yell to warn everyone ?"

"If you can tell from my eye contact at the grocery store that I'm inviting you to race shopping carts, you're my kinda people."

"I accidentally have two dates tomorrow night should I handle this like a sitcom or an adult"

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But, the trouble is getting them in there."

"Me: 'I love you so much, I'll see you later beautiful' Girlfriend: 'I love you too' Me: *Looks up from patting dog* 'Yeah see you later'"

"Funniest joke I've ever heard. women's rights."

"Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side!"

"Keep salespeople from pestering you by asking what type of saw can cut through bone and sinew the quickest."