119934

Joke of the Day

"Why does Santa not have kids? Cause he only comes once a year."

"What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather."

"Day one of acting school should be teaching actors how to hold an empty cup of coffee on 'Law and Order' like it's a full cup of coffee."

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer? Ash credits to /u/nothingbutcold"

"Adam and eve just finished having sex for the first time god looks down and sees eve washing up and says "" I'm never going to get that smell out of the fish"""

"Why don't Mexicans play bridge? Because they're afraid of the trump card."

"Add a word to ruin a movie name: 1- Batman begins...School 2- Charlottes web ... cam 3- the birds...pop 4- Jennifer's body...so hot 5- The cousin's...password"

"Obi-Wan captured a Sith and bring him to Yoda. Obi-Wan: Should I kill the Sith or let him go? Yoda: Kill him... \*Obi-Wan executes the Sith.\* Yoda: ...you must not."

"Having mutual friends with someone does not mean you should add them on Facebook. It's like a stranger knocking on your door and saying, ""Hey we both know Mike, John, and Sara. You mind if I come in?"

"I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister... It was wrong on so many levels."