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Joke of the Day
"Amputees can be pretty stubborn. You've really got to hand it to them."
Next Joke
"I like my wine like I like my women 9 years old and locked in the cellar"
"See a penny pick it up... All day long you'll have.... A nagging feeling that the previous owner wasn't a ""hand washer""."
"I hope the bomber suspect is made of green screen so we can all project our most feared skin color onto him."
"Is there an app that will make my iPhone go get my iPad which is way over there on the desk next to my iMac? iHopeso."
"I almost hit a deer tonight. But then he took back what he said about my mom and we hugged it out. Back to having zero haters, feels good."
"What do you call a good fortune teller? Optimystic"
"My solution to everything is fire. How do I get out this stain? Fire. How do you fix a car? Fire. How do you break up with someone? FIRE!"
"Whats the difference between Facebook and Reddit? About two hours."
"As a kid I've always wanted to be Batman when I grew up but then i was disappointed by a sudden realization... I have parents"