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Joke of the Day

"Watching cartoons with my son is awesome except for all the commercials & now his Christmas list has 26,724 things on it. Shit."

"My bunny died. Now he's just some bunny that i used to know...."

"Saying ""excape ""makes me wanna stab you in the ""exophagus""."

"Two grapes were walking down the street and one was assaulted. If that didn't make you laugh, it's because GRAPE JOKES ARE NEVER FUNNY!"

"Hard to believe the American flag is truly patriotic when the American flag itself doesn't wear an American flag pin."

"They say the heart is the most resilient organ... it can really take a beating."

"me: siri tell me a joke siri: *turns on front facing camera*"

"There was a devastating fire in my shoe shop. So many lost Soles."

"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten- tickles FTW!"

"Guy says to a girl, please give me a... ....blowjob."" The girl says, ""can't you be more romantic?"" So the guy says, ""ok, give me a blowjob in the rain."""