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Joke of the Day

"What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game? Sorry it was a freak hic!"

"I got kicked out of my Community Theatre group when the female director asked to see me limp. How was I to know she was talking about walking?"

"What is the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On Saint Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish."

"What type of government rules the butterflies? A monarchy"

"The best thing about the airport is how me staring at your tits isn't creepy in your country."

"That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp and kill a cat."

"My dad told me they once had to cancel a football season because John Madden ate all of the footballs."

"My wife was struggling to open the freezer In the end she gave up, and froze to death."

"So, Thor is going to be female from now on. I bet Chris Hemsworth wishes he'd paid more attention to the small print when signing that Avengers contract"

"Went out dressed as a chicken last night and got with a girl who was dressed as an egg and a life-long question was answered... Turns out, it was the chicken!"