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Joke of the Day

"What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game? Sorry it was a freak hic!"

"Me to 6 year old trick or treater dressed as a witch: ""I wish you'd cackle less"" Her: Give me a snickers you old piece of shit"

"Hand dryers are a great way to see how your hands look while skydiving."

"When I was a kid, we didn't have the internet. We had to go to the library to masturbate."

"JOKE: What's an easy way on /r/jokes to find feminism jokes? Just look for ones that have a ""JOKE:"" disclaimer"

"Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail? It's pretty much a downward spiral."

"Screamed in horror as I woke to find two severed horse heads in my bed, but then laughed remembering I hadn't removed the one from yesterday"

"What did God say to Jesus? This lawn ain't gonna mow itself."

"TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public."

"I will straight up walk into traffic to avoid a kid selling something."