4037

Joke of the Day

"I was screwing this African woman last night, she kept yelling the N word It was really hard to concentrate with her screaming no the entire time"

"What does Charlie Sheen call his penis? The HIV shiv."

"Why do people always ask me for directions? I have no clue where I am going. I am sure i have sent 100's of people into the ocean."

"What did the angry dough ball say to the other dough ball? You trying to get a rise out of me! Came up with while I was making pizza."

"*brings a super-magnet to a knife fight* *discovers that stainless steel is not magnetic*"

"When it comes to politics I'm an agnostic. I don't believe there's an honest politician nor can I prove that one does not exist."

"[airport security pulls Robocop aside] -Got ID? I AM A POLICE OFFIC- -Murphy eh. Looks nothin like u. THAT WAS BEFORE I GOT SH- -Save it pal"

"My elephants got no trunk ? How does it smell ? Terrible !"

"Some days I'm more on than off, but most days I'm just a moron."

"I think I burn most my calories at the gym untangling headphones."