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Joke of the Day

"*brings a super-magnet to a knife fight* *discovers that stainless steel is not magnetic*"

"Turns out she has a boyfriend.. I see this hot girl wating for the bus so I got over there and said: ""Hey, you are fucking hot!"" and she is like: ""Have you seen Taken, if not - look at me""."

"Q: How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Why are you asking me that question? Can't you see I'm busy!"

"Waitress: what will it be? Me: I'll have the rum cake but with the rum on the side W: so u want a glass of rum & a cupcake? M: yes please"

"What does the L in Samuel L Jackson stand for? Motherfucker"

"What do you get when you cross Batman with Mountain Dew? Dew diligance"

"Honey, you know the part in The 6th Sense when she drops his wedding ring & you realize he's been dead the whole time? Well I want a divorce"

"i did it God! i finaly got 2 of evry animal NOAH.THEY HAVE TO BE ALIVE *noah looks at boat full of dead animals* do u kno how long this took"

"[me trying to do magic] Is this your card? ""No"" Is THIS your card? ""Not even close"" What about THIS? ""Trent thats literally a piece of ham"""

"I tried to catch some fog the other day... Mist."