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Joke of the Day

"I don't trust anyone who doesn't count their donuts before leaving a drive-thru."

"My 10 y/o daughter made this joke up on the way to school... What do you get when you cross Hitler with a fish? A-dolphin!"

"I need to burn 644,098 calories at the gym today."

"Did you hear the joke about the roof? I would tell you, but it tends to go over people's heads"

"The creator of the 'knock knock' joke was awarded a prize today Unfortunately he wasn't in to receive it"

"There are three people in this world... Those who can count, and those you can not."

"Hey lady I have bad news for you someone thought your hair was noodles and left their chopsticks in it."

"What would /u/doubledickdude's band be called? The Tu-Wang Clan"

"Boyfriend Test: Sour Skittles in one hand. Peanut Butter M&Ms in the other. Which do you choose? WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy."

"If your boss asks ""Working hard or hardly working?,"" come back with a witty quip like ""Tomorrow I'm bringing a gun to the office."""