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Joke of the Day

"If your boss asks ""Working hard or hardly working?,"" come back with a witty quip like ""Tomorrow I'm bringing a gun to the office."""

"You know those before-after models? I'm a professional before model"

"[first day as tour guide on the moon] Me: keep your hats on Guy at the back: um they're called helmets Me: yeah you can take your hat off."

"Did John Knott mind being the only cited author on his group's research paper? Knott, et al."

"What has big ears brings Easter treats and goes ""hippity-BOOM hippity-BOOM hippity-BOOM""? The Easter Elephant."

"They call me the pussy destroyer. I run the best Asian restaurant around."

"My asian friend told me a hilarious joke today... Unfortunately, I had reddit be-4chan."

"I bought some powdered water I don't know what to add."

"Yay summer! *gets drunk outside* Yay winter! *gets drunk inside*"

"It's just a game but... last night Tom Brady was sacked more than milk and bread at the grocery store before a snow day"