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Joke of the Day

"I need to burn 644,098 calories at the gym today."

"Went to a nude beach today and let me tell you- I had a lot of women's attention. I could just feel them dressing me with their eyes."

"What do cows do after they get married? They go on their honeymoooooon!"

"Need jokes about bears Help, I need jokes about bears. Can someone come up with any?"

"I would never get a minivan because I can't even think of 7 people I'd want to be stuck in a vehicle with."

"What do you call a fly without any wings? A walk"

"I told Siri that no one understands me. She said: ""I don't know what you mean by *no one understands me*"""

"Does your girlfriend have 67 protons? I've heard she's a ho."

"I spent an hour explaining how WiFi works to my dad and my dog. The dog gets it."

"Women freeze their eggs until they are ready to be a mom? Can I freeze my two year old until I'm ready?"