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Joke of the Day

"Dear Diary: Day 41 at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. So far none of the other students have noticed that my wand is a Slim Jim."

"A guy sees his dad has a black eye - Hey, Dad. Why do you have a black eye? - You'll have two if you leave your girlfriend's underwear in my car one more time!"

"What do you call a dog riding in a submarine? A subwoofer."

"What's red and unhealthy for your teeth? A brick."

"They took my mood ring... ...and I don't know how i feel about it."

"So a girl asked me if I was a tits or an ass man.. so I said, well my friends always tell me, ""You're an ass, man!"" Ba dum tiss."

"Whats fat on the bottom, skinny on the top, and has ears? Mountains! ...what? You've never head of mountaineers?"

"How do cows go from one town to another? they cowmmute."

"Why couldn't Beethoven find his teacher? Because he was Haydn."

"I arranged a Reddit meet up for /r/sexaddicts... ...and everyone came!"