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Joke of the Day

"What's red and unhealthy for your teeth? A brick."

"I read an article saying that if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God, I only drink every night."

"I like my coffee black... like it's waiting for it's welfare check."

"If I had 1,000,000 dollars, I would pay to have sex with your mom. And then I would invest the other 999,995 bucks."

"Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall."

"It's so cold out the hookers downtown are charging 20 bucks to blow on your hands."

"Why did the guy lose his job at the suicide prevention hotline? v2 He kept leaving them hanging."

"There's been and explosion is a French cheese factory... All that's left is de brie!"

"Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Cause she's dead"

"Rioters are like school in July. No class."