40111

Joke of the Day

"*takes a sip* this wine has a full body, hint of honey, and a rich pallet. ""sir that's windex."" yes, yes, ill take a bottle."

"Why don't bears wear boots? Cos they like to walk around in their bear feet."

"Why did the computer split up with the programming language. Because 1 or more arguments were invalid!"

"""How about if the villain is a psychopath out to make a skin suit?"" - Not in a kids movie, dude. ""Ok, but it's puppy skin?"" - Oh, then YES!"

"Auto correct is like when a 3yo kid wants to help wash the car.its a nice gesture but really its just slowing shit down! :)"

"What happened to the guy who grabbed the Viagra instead of the Allegra? ...he had a hard time with his allergies"

"Want to piss off a female archeologist? Show her a used tampon and ask what period it's from. Wakka wakka!"

"Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things."

"ME: So I... was never invisible? JAIL DOCTOR: No. That's why you're in jail"

"So the other day, my friend told me that I have no idea what irony meant... Which was pretty ironic, considering we were at a bus stop."