40055

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the cannibal that only ate beans? Human Beans."

"The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world."

"I'm on hold with West Elm and they're playing a contemporary jazz song with a man saying ""aquarium"" every 4 counts. Hold music is evolving"

"There was an awful fight at the seafood restaurant. Four fish got battered!"

"My favorite joke: How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!"

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans Free. - [*Darren Walsh*](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34039927)"

"There's no reason to be tailgating me when I'm doing 50 in a 35. And those flashing lights on top of your car looks ridiculous!"

"Did you hear the latest joke about Baltimore? It's a riot"

"My two year-old has begun shouting ""The end!"" in a sing-song voice when he wants you to stop talking to him. Going to try this myself."

"I will read my horoscope from as many different sources as I need to until I find the one I like"