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Joke of the Day

"My favorite joke: How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!"

"Who's the fattest knight at the king's table? circumference"

"I was gonna make a pun... But the stress of making them is unbearable."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You don't milk a cow for 10 years"

"Lately I've been getting in touch with my inner self. I really need to switch to a better brand of toilet paper."

"Timothy's mom has three children. The first one's name is April. The second one's name is June. What is the third child's name? Timothy."

"My dad put a lot of pressure on me as a child. He used to say stuff like, ""You're five years old? When I was your age, I was six"""

"Had a conversation with my ex-wife over a drink this afternoon. It was cordial."

"If my mom had just faked having a headache I wouldn't be writing this bullshit on the internet right now"

"A farmer and his herd of cows walk into a bar. The bartender says to the farmer ""We don't serve your kine here."""