39989

Joke of the Day

"So my friend went duck hunting the other day, but didn't get anything I told him it was alright. No harm no fowl."

"My wife told me I should go to the gym with her to get in shape, but I suggested I just start with skipping. So far I've skipped the gym three times this week and I feel great."

"How many cops does it take to push a man down the stairs? None, he fell."

"My favorite exercise at the gym is lateral neck turns, which is where I walk in, shake my head ""no,"" and leave immediately."

"What's worse than your doctor telling you that you have gonorrhea? Getting the news from your dentist"

"Lost both my arms in an accident. The whole incident left me utterly humerless."

"Had sex for the first time yesterday. It was a load off my chest. And a load onto hers."

"What fruits do vampires eat? Blood oranges."

"What is the difference between a computer and a jet airliner About 250 lives, depending on which one crashed."

"Three feminists had a picnic... It didn't last long - none of them made sandwiches."